


Moving on

by perfectkindofmess



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectkindofmess/pseuds/perfectkindofmess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both thought they'd moved on but when it comes to their meeting, Alicia and Finn think there's still 'something' between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. jeden

**Author's Note:**

> i got inspired by kodaline's song 'moving on' which is perfect and i think it's really about alicia and finn. it's happening a few months after finn said he can't work with alicia and that there's something between them. i just like imigining that this could be the plotline of the good wife season 7.

_New York._

Finn woke up and smiled at a beautiful blonde woman who was sleeping calmly beside him. He started kissing her on a forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and lips. She smiled in her sleep. She moaned quietly when his hand wandered between her legs.

“Good morning.” She whispered as he kissed her breasts, stomach and then stopped when he reached her thighs. “I have to leave in two hours. Can you help me with the packing?”

“Do you really have to go?” Mary asked as she took off his t-shirt and started running her fingers through his chest. “I need you here.”

“And I really want to stay but I promised that I will help. It’s about my old case.” Finn reminded her when she gasped as she felt his finger inside her. “It won’t take long, I promise. Just a week or so…”

“Or so?” She repeated and started groaning louder because of growing pleasure. “Maybe we’ll come with you? Aidan really enjoyed being in Chicago.”

“Yes but Aidan’s just started school. He shouldn’t go anywhere, it’s called playing truant.” Mary laughed at his words but Finn stayed serious. “I mean it, Mary. You should stay. I’ll be back soon. You won’t even miss me, you won’t notice me being gone.”

“I will miss you. I don’t want you to go.” Mary said as she sat astride him. Finn smiled because he knew exactly what she was planning. “And I hope you will miss me as well.”

“Of course I’ll miss you, baby. But hey, I’ll be calling you every day.” Finn said as he started stroking her nipples. He loved their routine of morning sex.

“Twice a day.” Mary said as she pulled a condom on his cock. “Let’s not talk now. Let’s have this goodbye sex before Aidan wakes up.”

 

“Do you want me to drive you to the airport?” Mary asked when they were in the kitchen later that morning. She was making coffee while Finn was making pancakes. “Aidan, drink your tea, not the coke.”

A boy with dark hair grimaced a bit but obeyed and put down the bottle of a coke.

“No. You have to drive Aidan to school and go to work. I’ll get a cab.” Finn said as he put a plate full of pancakes on a table. “Buddy, start eating. You don’t want to be late for school.”

“Actually I do. I want to go with you, daddy.” Aidan said quietly and Finn sighed. He sat beside his son and put an arm around him.

“You can’t go with me, A. Everyone’s got their own duties. You have to go to school, your mommy has to go to work and I have to fly to Chicago. But I’ll be back soon.”

“Last time you went to Chicago, you stayed there for over a year.” Aidan whispered like he was scared of his own words. Finn looked at Mary and she just shrugged.

“But this time it’s different. I’ll be back in a week, maybe ten days.”

“Promise?” Aidan still wasn’t sure.

“I promise.” Finn said seriously and kissed Aidan on a forehead. Then he smiled at Mary and they all sat at the table to have breakfast.

 

Finn was all packed and ready to go. Mary walked him to the cab and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Will you be meeting this woman – sorry, I keep forgetting her name. Ali… Alice…?”

“Alicia.” Finn said quietly with a serious face. He was surprised he hadn’t been thinking about her that often. Not anymore. “No, I won’t be seeing her. I don’t keep in touch with her anymore. I don’t know whether she’s in Chicago now or not.”

“Good.” Mary nodded slowly with a smile. “I’d be jealous of her. OK, I’m not stopping you. Remember that I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll see you in a week.”

“Or so.”

 

Alicia woke up to the sound of some loud voices coming from the kitchen. She dressed up quickly and reluctantly left her bedroom. In the kitchen Grace was sitting at the table with Peter. Alicia wanted to ask him why he came to her but then she reminded herself that it was the day Grace was going on a school trip.

“Hi mom.” Grace said with a beaming smile. “I hope we didn’t wake you.”

“No, I had to wake up now anyway.” Alicia smiled back and then turned to Peter. “Can you drive Grace to school? I have to get to court soon.”

“That’s why I came here.” Peter answered and stood up. “Grace, are you ready?”

“Yep, I’ll just get my suitcase.”

Grace went out of a kitchen leaving her parents in a awkward silence. Alicia didn’t even want to pretend that everything was OK so she made herself some coffee while Peter was standing there with his hands in the pockets.

“How are you doing?” Peter asked but Alicia just shook her head. “What?”

“Just stop this.” Alicia cut shortly. “We’re not talking like that.”

“Are you still angry with me about the divorce?” Peter snorted.

“Why shouldn’t I be, Peter? You didn’t allow me for a divorce. You’ve threaten me. We don’t live together, we don’t love each other. We have kids together but that’s all. I just want to start a new chapter in my life and you’re still holding me back. I will never forgive you for those threats.” Alicia was starting getting angry again. She couldn’t look at Peter anymore because she knew she was able to say something she’d regret if Grace heard them.

Grace came out of her bedroom, said her goodbyes with Alicia and went out of the apartment with Peter following. Alicia was alone again. Alone for a whole week. She will have to buy more wine to survive this.

 

Later that day she had a case in court. She was running against Cary which felt so weird. They’ve never been against each other. They’ve always been a team.

“It’s weird to run against you.” Cary admitted like he was reading her mind. “But it was great to see you. Maybe we can go for a drink or something?”

Alicia smiled. “Of course but maybe not today. I have a few more meetings and I’ll be home late and exhausted.”

“OK, so maybe next time then.” Cary said. She could see that he really hoped for their meeting. He still cared. Alicia sighed with a relief.

“Yes, definitely next time. I’ll see you.”

 

When Alicia was leaving the building, she bumped into somebody very tall and well-built. She fell on the floor and felt really dizzy. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” She heard a familiar voice and when she looked at a man standing in front of her, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Finn?” He was really there. Standing in front of her, offering his big and helpful hand. She stood up and grabbed her purse.

“Alicia…” He said so softly, she felt like something was flipping inside her stomach. “Are you OK?” He didn’t let go of her hand, so she did, though she really didn’t want to.

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t fine at all. _I just thought I’ll never see you again,_ she wanted to add. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m helping with my old case.  Anyway I’m here for a week or so and I thought…” He seemed a little bit nervous. Was she making him nervous? She wanted to know everything. Is he here with his son and ex-wife? Is his ex-wife his wife again? So many questions… “Maybe you want to get together, share a drink and talk?”

“Yeah, I would love to.” She said. Alicia wanted to see him, see a lot of him but not like that. She knew it would be just a friendly drink that will get really awkward because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to hide her feelings. She thought she got rid of them but now she realised they’re stronger than she’d imagined. “I’m home alone for a whole week. Maybe you’ll come to my place and we’ll just get to talk when no one cares?” Finn gave her a brief smile and nodded.

“Is 8 OK?” He asked politely.

“Of course, it’s perfect.” She seemed too excited for a friendly meeting. “So I’ll see you soon then?”

“I’ll see you soon then.” Finn smiled again and she couldn’t resist smiling back. “It’s really great to see you again, Alicia.”

Alicia wanted to kiss him but of course she couldn’t. She had to play cool. Finn was a friend. Probably married again. Living in a different city with his family. He’s moved on and Alicia should respect that.

She couldn’t believe Finn was in Chicago. It was only for a week but still. He was here and he was coming to her apartment  where they would be all alone. She couldn’t be more excited.

 _I’ve missed you so much, Finn,_ Alicia thought.

 

**_‘I met you on the corner of the street,_ **

**_I smiled before I ever heard you speak”_ **


	2. dwa

After Alicia made a dinner, set some slow jazz music and drank two shots of tequila, she wore one of her best casual black dresses and sat on a couch in a living room. She was starting getting nervous, she kept checking the clock. Finn was never late so was he screwing with her? 8:15… 8:30… After 15 more minutes she was sure he was not coming. _So that’s it._

Alicia opened a bottle of wine and decided to get drunk and sob a bit. A lot actually. She was just reaching for a glass when she heard the knocking on the door. She didn’t realize it could still be Finn so she choked when she saw him. Finn smiled weakly when she let him in.

“I’m sorry for being late.” He said when he handed her a bottle of red wine and her favorite chocolates. He sat down and watched her pouring the wine. “I had to… I had to talk to my wife.” Alicia stopped for a moment, held her breath and looked at him. “My son is still a bit nervous about school so I have to remind him how much I love him.”

“That’s understandable.” Alicia nodded, handed Finn a glass of and he sipped. “I’ve actually made a dinner. Are you hungry?”

“Ravenous.” He admitted with a charming smile. “Can I help you?”

“No, it’ll take a minute. You can go and sit at the table.”

Finn obeyed and went to the living room. He looked at the photos of Alicia and her family. He noticed there was no photo of Alicia and Peter alone together. He knew that they were separated but he still wondered whether she loved him or not.

“I like this photo.” Finn said and showed Alicia a photo of her that Kalinda took. Alicia stood beside him and smiled briefly. “You look really happy on that picture.”

“I was really happy there.” She admitted sadly.

“You’re not now?”

Alicia didn’t answer. “Dinner’s ready. Come on.” She went to the table and Finn followed quickly.

They ate a dinner in a silence but it wasn’t awkward. They exchanged some looks and that was enough. Later they sat on a couch and started talking about Finn’s case, Alicia’s new firm and Finn’s job in New York. They there was a silence again and Finn sighed as he turned to Alicia.

“Can we talk honestly? About everything that’s been going on?” Finn asked quietly and Alicia nodded. “I can start. I’m thinking about proposing to my wife again. I’m still not sure but she’s started mentioning being married again. I think it’s a good idea.”

Alicia felt like somebody’s punched her in the face. She regretted agreeing for an honest conversation. She knew it was selfish but she didn’t want to hear how happy Finn was in New York. “Well, if you’re really happy and you want to try, it’s great.”

“Yeah, it is great.” Finn nodded but didn’t seem to be completely honest. “How are you doing?” He changed a subject.

“Peter is running for vice president.” Alicia said carelessly. “S I guess if he wins, I’ll be moving to Washington.” Finn frowned. It was a surprise for him. He thought Alicia wouldn’t sacrifice anything to her husband anymore. “I wanted to get a divorce but…” She didn’t know why she was telling him that. He shouldn’t know the real reasons.

“But?”

“Let’s just say that Peter isn’t that saint as everyone now thinks.” Alicia emptied her glass and poured them some more wine.

“Alicia you can tell me…” Finn said calmly. Alicia smiled and shook her head.

“No, I can’t. It’s better if I’ll never mention it again.” _I don’t want to hurt you,_ she wanted to add.

They both felt they left something unspoken when Finn stood up and said he had to go. Alicia walked him to the door and leant against the wall as he was putting his coat on.

“It was really nice. Thank you so much for this.” Finn whispered, she could barely hear him.

“Thanks for coming.” Alicia smiled. “Maybe you want to come tomorrow, as well? I can cook for you again.”

Finn sighed and smiled like he was apologizing. “I really shouldn’t.” He couldn’t stand the disappointment on Alicia’s face. “But I’ll let you know… OK, I’ll come. What time?”

“Anytime you want.”

“Alright. So I’ll see you soon then.”

“I’ll see you soon then.”

 

**_‘I can accept we’re getting older_ **

**_But I guess it’s just the way it has to be.’_ **


	3. trzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much time on anything now so I'm sorry but the chapters will be a bit short.

Next day early in the morning somebody’s knocking on the door woke Alicia. She wanted to ignore it but couldn’t really. She got up, put a rob on and went out of her bedroom yawning.

“Good morning.” Finn said with a beaming smile when she opened a door. Alicia frowned, she had no idea what he was doing here. She didn’t expect him. “Can I come in? I got you something for breakfast.”

She let him to the kitchen and started making coffee. Finn put some pastries on the plate and kept staring at Alicia as he did the previous night.

“Tell me.” Alicia said as she sat beside him and handed him a cup of coffee, just like he liked it. “Tell me why you’re here.”

“Well, they rescheduled my meeting so I thought we could have a breakfast together.” Finn said seriously. “I wanted to spend some time with you.”

_It’s not a good idea,_ Alicia wanted to say. But she didn’t say anything. She just nodded and smiled weakly. She really wanted to spend some time with him as well.

“Can you tell me more about your divorce?” Finn asked.

“I’m not getting a divorce.”

“Yes, I know. That’s why I’m asking. I want to know why not.” Finn said.

Alicia sighed quietly. “I can’t tell you. If I tell you, I’ll ruin everything.”

“Ruin what exactly?” Finn insisted.

“Everything.” She said once again and turn to face him. “Finn, please… I can’t tell you anything so please, stop asking.” Alicia felt the tears coming. She had to stop. She couldn’t show him her emotions. “I’m sorry but I just can’t.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” He said and put his arms around her waist. He kissed her forehead and wanted to kiss away her tears but he knew he shouldn’t. Alicia sighed once again. “I’m sorry for asking. If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. It’s not my business.”

“Finn, last time you were here, you said there’s something between us. You’re right, though I was really scared to admit that. But now I can and I have to say that it didn’t go away, not for me. I mean…” She stopped and took a deep breath. Finn kept staring at her. “I still feel something. Big something. It wasn’t easy for me when you left but now when you’re here, it’s even worse. I’m sorry but I think you should go because if you stay, I’ll tell you the things you should never hear and then it’ll get awkward and really hard for me to watch you leaving.”

“Alicia…”

“No, please. Just go and don’t come back. It’ll be better for both of us, trust me.” Alicia said as she started crying even more. But she didn’t care anymore. “Because I’m starting to think that this can really work out but you have wife and son… So I don’t want to hold on to that hope. Just go and don’t come back if you intend to say goodbye in a few days. I can’t stand you saying goodbye again.”

Finn didn’t say anything. He simply nodded, stood up and left her apartment in silence. He actually felt like he was about to cry, as well. “Fuck.” He whispered and went to the elevator and the tears started streaming down his face.

 

**_‘I wondered how you still remembered me,_ **

**_I heard you’re settled down and that you’re married happily.’_ **


	4. cztery

__

When Finn left, Alicia wanted to go after him, grab his hand, pull him towards her and never let him go. She had this weird feeling that he didn’t want to leave, too. She knew she was right, there still was something between them and if he stayed, it would get dangerous. He loved his wife, that’s for sure, he didn’t want to hurt her or cheat on her. So maybe it’s good that he left?

Alicia went to bed and started crying more. Though it was morning, she decided she’s not getting out of her bedroom. Staying in bed all day, crying and drinking wine was a good plan, she thought.

Finn got in a cab and went to the hotel. He couldn’t stop picturing crying Alicia. He wanted to come back to her apartment, hold her in his arms and promise he’ll never leave her again. He never meant to hurt her and now he was sure she was devastated because of him. He would do anything to take the pain away from her but how could he when he caused it? He hated himself for that.

He had to remember about Mary and Aiden. They were in New York waiting for him. They loved him. They’re his family. Waiting at home. But now New York didn’t feel like home anymore. He had to come back as soon as it’s possible. Otherwise he would never find his home again.

But still, he didn’t want to leave Chicago. He felt the need of seeing Alicia again. That’s what he missed when he was in New York – he missed her face, her beautiful eyes, her smile, her voice, her laugh, her body… He had to stop thinking of her.

He decided to work to keep his mind off of Alicia but he couldn’t. He noticed a message from her when he was checking his e-mail box. He took a deep breath and started reading.

_It’s better if we say goodbye in that way. It’s safe. Because if I saw your face, I would burst into tears, you would hug me because you’re a good man and I would kiss you. And although it would feel perfect to me, it would be a mistake to you. And you’re too good for that, Finn. You would never do anything to hurt your family, I know that. When I saw you, I wanted to push it one last time to somehow make you regret going back to New York. But I don’t have that kind of power. I would push it and you would hate me for it. This is why we have to say goodbye like that. It’s the only way I won’t make any mistakes._

_Finn, I wish you all the best because you deserve it more than any other person. I want you to be happy because you’re the best man I know. I hope your wife will make you happy, she’s the luckiest woman on the Earth. You have to know that I will never forget you and always be thankful for everything that you’ve done for me. You were amazing friend but I guess we can’t be friends anymore. I hope we’ll meet again someday._

_Take care of yourself and your family and remember one thing. You are a hero._

_With love,_

_Alicia._

After reading the letter, Finn realized he was crying. He couldn’t help it, it was too much for him. Without thinking, he stood up and went out of his hotel room. If he stayed alone, he would go completely crazy and mad.

Alicia didn’t know why she wrote this e-mail. Now it felt like a big mistake. But she was drunk so she decided not to care.

She was reaching for another bottle of red when she heard knocking on the door. She sighed and went to open it.

There he was. Standing in front of her with his eyes red and swollen.

“Finn…” She whispered when he looked at her.

“I can’t say goodbye.” He said quietly and leant in to kiss her.

 

**_‘Oh, do you remember when I told you_ **

**_That I loved you to the bottom of the sea?’_ **


End file.
